Hope

…so that by two unchangeable things (his oath and his promise), in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us.  We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf.

Hebrews 6:18-20

These have always been some of my favorite verses in the Bible, but for the last few years they’ve been a lifeline. Whenever I read these verses I picture an anchor holding a great ship in harbor, preventing it from sailing away to sea. In the same way, hope has been my anchor through many dark times when I could feel myself drifting away towards depression and fear, hope in God’s goodness was the anchor that kept me from going over the edge.

You see, I have to have hope. If God is not good, then all is lost. People fail, disease disables, loved ones die, dreams are broken, injustice is rampant… Sometimes it feels like goodness is gone from the world, it would be so easy to just ride the current of despair and be consumed, swallowed whole by the sweet waters of grief.  So far, God won’t let me drown.

I’ve been to that edge a few times.

Cancer. Injustice. Incompetence. Lies.

These things have all stolen something from me and made me question God’s character. There was a night a while back that was so dark I just laid down on my living room floor, curled into the fetal position and waited for the whirlpool of hopelessness to suck me under.

But I didn’t go under, my anchor held secure. There was still hope.

Just the tiniest glimmer of light, but I focused on it and watched as it grew, slowly enveloping me in it’s warmth.

I have friends in other parts of the world who’ve lived in war zones and gone through hell, but when I think of their faces I see joy. There’s hope.

My own beautiful girls’ start to life was bleak to say the least, yet when I hear their laughter, I know there’s hope.

I have to hold on to belief in something good. So I hold on for dear life to Jesus.

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