Monthly Archives: February 2014

The Silence of God

012s“The music is not in the notes,
but in the silence between.”
-Mozart

All those months of busyness, parties and holidays, hosting friends and family, the whirlwind of life. It’s exciting and fun and yet, my soul is hungry. Hungry to hear your voice.

But, you are silent.

I search for you at the stillness of dawn, hoping for a word, a whisper, a feeling.

You are silent.

I fill my time with so many things, two jobs, a family, church, Bible study, youth group and social time with friends, but something is missing. I read my Bible searching for a promise, a conviction, an experience.

You are silent.

I walk in the forest, a place you’ve met me before. I’m grateful for your creation, I soak in the beauty and I wait. I wait for the knowledge of your presence to rush to me on the wind rustling through the trees, but I only feel more alone.

You are silent.

I remember all the times you’ve been so loud and near. The mountain tops, the feeling of being held in your arms and I just knew we’d always be close. Yet, this valley is so still, so quiet.

You are silent.

Today I broke.  I opened my Bible only to slam it shut. The silence was too much, too heavy. I yelled to fill the stillness, I told you all the ways you were unfair, aired all my grievances. My soul broke open, I felt helpless, hopeless. I sat empty on the floor with my heart and soul in pieces all around me, Silence filling the room.

Silence so tangible it covered me like a blanket. Silence so loud it was calling to me. Calling me to be still and know you are God. To trust.

You are in the Silence.

Silence flowed through the hollow, broken space of my soul, gathering pieces, mending wounds. Trust. Everything comes back to that one word. When I ache to hear you and all I hear is Silence, trust.

You are in the Silence.

Calling me ever deeper, ever closer to you. In the busyness of life you call me to the quiet place, the secret place.

You are in the Silence.

I can lose touch with you in the crazy day to day. Even when I’m immersed in the Christian life of serving, studying, fellowshipping, I need the quiet moments to breathe in the Silence.

You are in the Silence.

Remind me always of this truth. When I feel alone, when I can’t hear you. To trust you’re still here, in the words of my friends, in the laughter of my children, in the kisses from my husband, in the water of the ocean as it caresses my feet, in the stillness of dawn, in the Silence of night.

You are in the Silence.

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